Chapter 49: Did Madame... ever have feelings for me

Opening the door, An Ling looked down and changed her shoes.

Hearing the noise, Auntie Cheng hurried out to take the cake. You are back, Ma'am.

An Ling responded, put down her bag, took off her coat, and walked toward the kitchen while rolling up her sleeves. Are you stewing soup?

Yes, it is almost done.

Auntie Cheng smiled and stepped aside to make room. You said you were going to cook today, so I helped you chop all the vegetables.

An Ling felt a little embarrassed. I am not very good at it, so I still need your help.

No problem, no problem. Auntie Cheng looked very happy. If Sir knows you are cooking yourself today, he will definitely be thrilled!

An Ling smiled and put on an apron. I am just afraid he will worry it tastes bad.

Nonsense, Sir likes you very much. He will surely love whatever you make.

Auntie Cheng turned to set out the chopped vegetables, her tone full of emotion. Ever since you started coming home for dinner, Sir has also started coming back often to eat. He even asks me if you will be home for dinner, and after noticing what you like to eat, he always tells me to make it often.

An Ling's hands paused while tying her apron. After a moment, she let out a slow, soft laugh.

Is that so...

She checked the time and set her phone aside. Then let us get started.

In her twenty-five years of life, even during the two years she was possessed by the system, An Ling had never cooked.

As for the boxed lunches the system had delivered to Lu Jingshen, in An Ling's memory, those were entirely made by someone else.

It seemed the system had some self-awareness, deeply afraid that its bad cooking would make Lu Jingshen hate it, but it forgot that Lu Jingshen would not eat them at all.

After two hours, An Ling only managed to make a few simple dishes, which were even simpler than their usual dinners.

She looked at the stir-fried greens and tomato with scrambled eggs on the table, as well as the only slightly complex-looking beef brisket stew, pondered for a moment, and turned her head to speak:

Auntie Cheng, how about you make a few more dishes?

She suddenly felt her cooking was a bit too embarrassing to present.

Auntie Cheng smiled and brought the soup out. Do not worry, Ma'am, Sir will like it.

She took off her apron and gathered her things. Sir will be off work soon, Ma'am, so I will take my leave now.

An Ling nodded. After the auntie left, she took out her phone, snapped a picture, and sent it to An Zhou.

What do you think? I made all of this.

An Zhou: Are you sure it is edible?

An Ling: ...

An Zhou: By the way, why did you cook? Do not tell me it is for Shen Linyan?

An Ling had not told them about the divorce yet, and An Zhou seemed completely unaware. It appeared that last night's incident had been suppressed by the Shen family.

An Ling did not reply to him and went to unbox the cake.

At that moment, the door lock beeped, followed by the sound of footsteps.

An Ling stood by the dining table, met the man's eyes, and then her eyes curved into a smile.

You are back.

Shen Linyan glanced at her face, then looked away and gave a soft Mm.

An Ling finished unboxing the cake. Then go wash your hands and let us eat. When I went to pick up the cake today, the clerk even gave me some free cookies.

When the two sat at the dining table to eat, An Ling picked at her food absentmindedly, her eyes quietly observing Shen Linyan's expression.

Noticing her gaze, the man paused, stopped his chopsticks, and said, You do not need to worry, my wife, it is very delicious.

An Ling looked slightly stunned. You know I made this?

Auntie Cheng already told me. Shen Linyan kept his head down, his tone remaining gentle. Thank you, my wife.

An Ling stared at him for a moment and slowly put down her chopsticks.

Shen Linyan, are you in a bad mood today?

From the time he came back until now, except for that brief moment when he walked in the door, Shen Linyan had not made eye contact with her.

Hearing this, the man opposite her froze.

In the quiet air, a very soft voice was heard a moment later.

I do not know...

In fact, Shen Linyan himself did not know why he was like this.

He did not understand what this feeling was, nor did he know when his tears had fallen last night. By the time he realized it, the tears had already landed on the back of his hand.

If An Ling wanted a divorce, he, as her husband, should just agree to it, as casually as he had agreed to marry her in the first place.

It was nothing more than his previous plan to swallow up the An family falling through.

But that tearing pain in his heart was something he could hardly forget.

He was even distracted when he went to the company in the morning. When Secretary Chen brought over the divorce agreement, he held his pen but hesitated for a long time, staring at the word divorce on the document.

Was this love?

Did he like An Ling?

Shen Linyan, do you like me?

The unexpected question rang in his ears.

Shen Linyan's eyes trembled slightly.

The sound of a chair being pulled back broke the air, followed by footsteps drawing near until they stopped beside him. The woman sat down next to him.

Shen Linyan, are you sad because of the divorce?

Her gaze landed on the wedding ring on the man's ring finger, and An Ling's eyes paused slightly.

How could she not sense that something was wrong with Shen Linyan?

As early as last night, she had already noticed the man's tense and suppressed emotions.

In the silence, An Ling gently took the man's left hand, her fingertips tenderly tracing over his knuckles one by one. She lowered her eyes and said softly:

Shen Linyan, it is normal for you to feel sad, because I am your first wife. You have done so much for me, and it is normal that you are reluctant to let go of this marriage.

She was Shen Linyan's first wife, the first person to accompany him for his birthday.

The first is always easily endowed with a special meaning.

Following the trend of redemption novels, she could even be considered Shen Linyan's salvation.

But ultimately, she was not his salvation, nor could she be.

If she stayed in the Shen family, she might die, and Shen Linyan might go bankrupt.

Besides, Shen Linyan did not really love her that much. He was just lacking companionship, which was why he had grown dependent on her.

Just like Zhou Wen before.

After spending time with Shen Linyan, An Ling could actually tell that Shen Linyan's feelings for Zhou Wen were not love.

He would reject Zhou Wen's gifts because of her, and he could clearly draw boundaries with Zhou Wen.

Perhaps at that time, Shen Linyan was merely craving that hint of care from Zhou Wen.

But this is not love, Shen Linyan.

Your feelings for me are just an illusion derived from a sense of responsibility.

Shen Linyan's breath hitched, and he subconsciously tightened his grip on her hand.

An Ling squeezed his hand back, smiled as she lowered her head, and brushed over the wedding ring on his finger, her voice remaining soft and slow.

Shen Linyan, I have told you before that you are inherently a good person. Right now, you just lack someone to keep you company. This person does not necessarily have to be me; it can be anyone.

You will be with your new wife in the future, and she will accompany you to do these things. You will also grow dependent on your new wife, and by then, you might not even remember me anymore.

Right now, Shen Linyan could reject Zhou Wen because of her.

In the future, he could also reject her, his ex-wife, because of his new wife.

At the end of the day, neither she nor Zhou Wen were Shen Linyan's ultimate salvation. They were merely manifestations of Shen Linyan's gentle persona.

The female lead, who was entangled in an emotional tug-of-war with the male lead, did not deserve Shen Linyan's true heart.

And the same went for her, the vicious female supporting character who was just using Shen Linyan.

Someone better would appear, someone more suited than either of them to love Shen Linyan.

An Ling raised her head slightly, her eyes curving as she said softly:

"Shen Linyan, if you had married someone else, would you still have done all these things?"

The man sat in his chair, his eyelashes trembling slightly.

After a long silence, he finally replied softly, his voice hoarse.

"I would."

Even back when An Ling was still in love with Lu Jingshen, he had already been doing these things.

Cleaning up An Ling's messes, silently bearing the brunt of all the rumors and gossip—even when she treated him terribly, he had always responded to her with gentle patience.

Even if it had been someone else, he could have done the exact same.

Because acting this way did him no harm, nor did it cost him anything. If anything, it only helped him navigate the world and maintain his impeccable reputation.

So, was this not love?

Was everything just an illusion born from their time together?

If he had married a different woman, would he still feel this unusual emotional turmoil at the thought of divorce?

Shen Linyan slowly raised his head.

The overhead light traced the elegant, aristocratic contours of his face. Beneath his dark, unreadable gaze hid an imperceptible trace of bewilderment.

"So, is it because you didn't feel my love that you want a divorce, my wife?"

He asked softly, "Have you... ever loved me?"